Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Rain poured out angrily onto the wide plains of the earth. Winds pounded and whirled on the mountains and the hills. The cold of the weather and the heat of the ground met to form thick mists that blanketed the world - her world.
At the base of a colossal mountain, in front of the slightly beaten road, a young girl stood tall. Furious gales swept her white velvet cloak, making it billow restlessly behind her. Long black hair that reached to her knees lashed wildly around her face as she soaked in the rain. A golden crescent moon sigil glowed dimly atop her perfectly arched brows. Her hazel eyes which blazed in fury and determination was a stark contrast to her pale and frigid skin. Drops of rain sparkled on her high cheekbones and small nose. A resigned sigh escaped her frozen cerise lips.
More lightning. More thunder.
She looked up, startled. She lifted her pale arms to hug herself, trying to draw out the cold which enveloped her small frame. Her glove-encased hands unconsciously reached out and fiddled with a rose shaped diamond pendant on a thin silver chain around her neck.
Rain fell harder. The winds picked up.
She pulled up the skirts of her white sleeveless silk gown and ran - up, up, up the narrow pathway that hugged the mountain; up, up, up until she reached the top; up, up, up onto the beautiful rose garden and into the gazebo that crowned the land's vast peak. there she stopped... and crumpled to a heap on the floor.
She cried; cried out the loneliness within her; cried out the anguish and the pain; cried out her anger and hatred to the uncaring winds. She cried for the little girl she once was and for the young woman she grew up to be. She cried for the lost time and opportunities, and for her youth which was slowly slipping away from her grasp.
A gentle tap on my shoulder made me look up. My eyes fell upon a tall fair woman with long silver hair flowing to her feet. She was awashed with shrouded moonlight - from her sleeveless snow-white silk gown which clung to her waist and pooled around her as she knelt beside me; to the golden sash that ran across her chest from her shoulder to her hip. The sash held a jeweled golden scabbard engraved with golden filigree, matching the engravings on the hilt of the warrior's sword that it protected. Below the golden tiara resting on top of her glorious silver hair, a golden crescent moon symbol on her forehead glowed as brightly as her deep brown eyes; brown eyes which mirrored my own. I backed away, scared. She remained kneeling where she was, smiling kindly at me. I gaped at her, my skin prickling all over as my mind finally placed the face of the woman in front of me. Realization hit me. This woman, who was holding herself so regally in front of me, was...
“If Jaebum returns he’s definitely returning to 2PM.”
Singer and producer Park Jinyoung opened his mouth for the first time about Jaebum, who took a withdrawal from 2PM and is in America, and his return.
In the afternoon of the 11th Park jinyoung, with the Wonder Girls appeared on MBC ‘Golden Fishery’ ‘Knee Drop Guru’ and revealed his position about the Jaebum case.
Park Jinyoung opened his mouth to say, “When the Korean criticism case burst I thought that the level of responses were too extreme. There were even practices for a suicide petition. But when Jaebum Goon left for America, the publice opinion changed in saying that it was the fault of incorrect translations and there was nothing wrong.”
Park Jingyoung revealed, “Jaebum’s thoughts and my thoughts are they same. Though he didn’t do anything good it wasn’t something to just look over either,” and said, “Especially because if you are a person who sings and dances you are a person who is connected to the culture so you can’t criticize other cultural people. I think that kind of expression was wrong.”
Park Jinyoung said, “If you asking, then is Jaebum a bad kid, that’s not it. He’s a really kind child. At the time Jaebum was really crooked. To my face he said that he wouldn’t receive my producer songs and said he had the confidence to succeed without them” and emphasized, “But Jaebum does not lie. Jaebum kept changing. The Jaebum now is not the Jaebum then”.
He said, “But I acknowledge that the Jaebum then had wounds. And that was Jaebum’s thoughts. And that’s why he couldn’t stand on stage alone” and “But when asked if the other members shouldn’t get to stand on stage he said that wasn’t it. Jaebum said ‘Hyung I want to go to America’” he confessed. Park Jinyoung said “If I was Jaebum I would have thought the same thing”.
Park Jinyoung said “If there wasn’t a problem then Jaebum and I would have fought to the end. But he himself thought he did much wrong” and said “If you care for Jaebum I would like the public and the fans to leave him alone. Because he’s regretting and reflecting on himself I think it would be helping him to leave him alone”.
Park Jinyoung definitely talked about the possibility of Jaebum’s return. He said, “What I can do during the time Jaebum is resting is to help so he doesn’t rust as a singer by helping him meeting dance and vocal teachers, later when he wants to stand on stage again then it’s then you need to help him”.
He said “If he returns, then he’s definitely returning to 2PM” and emphasized “Jaebum doesn’t want to return as a Solo and neither do the members”.
This is the first time that Park Jinyoung has revealed his position about Jaebum after his comments last September on the official JYP Entertainment website through two memos.
I think JYP should've done more than just agree with Jay. He should've told Jay that the words he said aren't so grave and that the threats were far more than a tad extreme! Someone should've held his hand and told him he was going to get through this.
When a boy tells his father "I've embarrassed you so I'm running away" a father shouldn't just say "Go ahead! I think it's right that you should leave so you won't dishonor me." JYP is like a father-figure to them and he should've done MORE. Maybe Jay needed time away from Korea. JYP should've said, "I understand. We understand. I know this seems difficult but you have to be strong. You have to show them you're more than who you were before. You have to be strong and get through it because you responsibilities to your younger members and to your fans who love and respect and ACCEPT you; the whole of you. So take your time but promise them you're going to come back. Whatever those haters said, it's nothing compared to the love your dongsengs and fans have for you. You've been through so much. You can get through this cuz you're not alone. We're HERE WITH YOU. WE LOVE YOU."
What Jay Park went through was a traumatic situation. More than a friend, a professional psychiatrist should've been there to help him analyze the situation because surely, Jay only blames himself. Which is wrong. HE'S THE VICTIM HERE. Someone should've been there to explain everything to him and help him process whatever the hell happened that fateful first week of September. As president of the company, JYP should've taken care of him better. Something more than just "I totally agree with your assessment." Cuz Jay is young and the experience was overwhelming. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PROTECTED.
I honestly didn't like his response. Saying that "If he comes back" instead of "when he comes back" is just wrong. JYP just played with the hottests so they'll buy the stupid album! I know all you hottests are jumping with joy but I'm NOT happy with this. IT'S SOOO WRONG!
JYP SHOULD MAN UP AND TAKE CARE OF JAY LIKE HE SHOULD! TELL THAT BOY IT'S NOT HIS FAULT AND THAT IT'S SAFE FOR HIM TO COME BACK BECAUSE FOR EVERY 1 PERSON WHO HATES HIM, THERE ARE 1,000 HOTTESTS AND FANS WHO HAVE OVERFLOWING LOVE AND RESPECT FOR HIM.
you shut down your xanga site. i never got to thank you for your kind words. thanks sooo much for understanding my situation. maybe someday we'll get to meet. your comment was really uplifting. thank you for being God's angel. I love you. May God bless you always! *hug* You've healed a little part of my soul. Thank You.
Woah! I haven't blogged in like 5 months or something.
Oh well... So many things have happened. Let me see: I graduated from nursing college, watched Boys Over Flowers (MBC korean drama version of Hana Yori Dango), took the national nursing licensure exam, went back to Saudi Arabia, went on vacation to Egypt, found out in Luxor that I passed the National Nursing Licensure Exam (which has a national passing rate of 42% out of 70,000+ test takers) , and went back to Saudi Arabia to start fasting for Ramadan.
Anyway, can you believe it? I finally passed the Nursing Board Exam! After all that hard work!
And in between that, I've watched a lot of Korean and Taiwanese drama and read Twilight (which does not hold a candle to Buffy but definitely serves its purpose in feeding teenage girl fantasies; but hello! Edward is like Angel Junior much!). I've also read Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. And a book about Geisha... and Marianne Williamson's A Return To Love. Of course, there are other books by Jane Austen too. Now I'm trying to read Christopher Paolini's Brisingr but the intro is boring so....
I've also been immersed in Korean Pop music: Super Junior, Wonder Girls, 2PM, Rain/Bi, T-Max, A'ST1, A&T, Big Bang, Crown J, SNSD/Girls Generation, Hwang Bo, Ji Sun, SHINee, and SS501.
My boys SS501 (from left to right: Kim Hyung Joon, Heo Young Saeng, Park Jung Min, Kim Hyun Joong, Kim Kyu Jong)
I am now officially an SS501 groupie! :D hehehehehe! It's all Kim Hyun Joong's fault! He's got me learning and studying Korean (read, write, and speak; it is one of the hardest languages to learn in the world though) so I can go to their Singapore concert this December! :D My dad (Egyptian) hates it cuz I haven't learned Arabic yet! Hahahaha!
Oh well, all the crap I've said is just so you know that I'm all KPop now... and All About Korean is my new hobby theme. Now... I've always been a person who's admired and crushed on and idolized pop stars who are older than me. SS501's perfect (They're all older than me); I don't really have an aesthetic interest in Super Junior so I don't care about their ages; I'm only mildly interested in 2PM.
SHINee: The boys who made me a Noona in KPop world
However, SHINee is a big problem for me. The boys are awesome and cute and can even pass for sexy with their dancing style as they're so suave. BUT THEY'RE SOOOO YOUNG! They're all sooo much younger than me! I mean one thing I've taken pride in as as SS501 groupie is that I'm not one of SS501's noona fans (Noona: what Korean males call their older sister; familiar female older than them). But with SHINee! They're all so much YOUNGER! Most of them are born in the '90's (I'm born 1988). It's quite disturbing.
And while as a nurse, I know exactly what the word pedophile means. I can't help but associate myself with the word even though I have NO SEXUAL PREFERENCE/FETISH for them. It makes me feel old and icky! (remembering Scary Movie 4; Michael Jackson line [excuse the pun]: Hey little girl, do you have any younger brothers or sisters?)
And NO! Their single Noona, you're so pretty (Replay) is not helping ONE BIT!
I got this from my old A Purpose Driven Life Journal. I wrote it four years ago when I was just starting out in college. I really liked what I wrote back then so i decided to put it up here. Enjoy:
I feel very thankful for the benevolence of the Lord, my God. I feel blessed that we are given many chances to fail, to change, and to redeem ourselves in His eyes. One day, hopefully sometime near, I will no longer be bound by people's expectations of me; no longer shackled by my need to succeed; no longer tormented by the desperation to get by day in and day out. One day, by God's will, I will shine like a bright angel, glorious because of His light, doing as He commands... And use me for the purpose of which He intended my being here. Lo! Behold! What a radiant servant I shall become... And then with God's eyes of pride upon me, I will live! And live for Him alone!
, and went back to Saudi Arabia to start fasting for Ramadan.
